#do i want hugs from my friends
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2 all the way up to 9 people snuggling! get cozy!! unfortunately couldnt fit a 10th like i prefer doing so the secret 10th buddy just prefers sleeping alone weheheh,,
#remember to step away from social media for a lil especially if ur seeing alot of big scary posts. take care of urselves <3#i gotta do my homework but ive had the urge to make emojis lately ehehe !#custom emotes#snuggles#cuddles#hug#affection#polyam#could be polyam.. or found family.. or friends.. or insys.. whatever u want !! :3
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the question isn't 'is con crit okay?' that's a terrible way to frame the issue.
the question is 'do fan creators want your con crit?' and the answer is clearly overwhelmingly No!
like, are hugs okay? theoretically, sure. but if you're going around hugging strangers who don't want you to, and they have fucking told you so, then you are in fact an asshole and should knock it off.
#it bugs me everytime i see it framed that way#fandom#do i want hugs from my friends? sometimes! do i want them from randos on the street? absolutely the fuck not!
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kathryn janeway my favourite heroine of a greek tragedy
song is alt-j - philadelphia
#something something about finally becoming bigger than life. which must be a rather lonely thing to be#show changed my brain chemistry so bad that i had to open an editing software. NEVER AGAIN (working on another edit already)#full disclosure i do ship j/c and j7 simultaneously bc i enjoy being evil#ahhhh i have so much to say about janeway...#esp her in tuvix!! i hate how this episode is spoken about. tuvix and how janeway dealt with him is such a good metaphor of how she is goin#to get more desperate and willing to take questionable decisions to get her crew to safety. and i loved how they paralleled kes wanting#neelix to return to crew wanting to get back home#ahhh i love this show#my friend who knows about voyager only from my yapping watched this and thought that janeway hugged seven and not jaffen#i call it yuri kuleshov effect#star trek voyager#kathryn janeway#my post#chakotay#seven of nine#j/c#j7
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what if bill is jealous of the pine family because they remind him that he doesn’t get to have a happy family because he burned them all. and ford having almost gone down the same path as him (unappreciatedly smart, weird, outcasted, and then gaining access to greater knowledge and almost destroying the world) but stops and saves his family even after all the shit that’s happened (this is the one timeline where both dipper and mabel survive, after all). he gets to be happy. they all get to be happy, together.
he must hate them as much as he hates himself, doesn’t he?
#I haven’t read book of bill yet#but from what I’ve seen this sounds right#also the pain of being broken up with only for them to do great#and you feel left behind#toxic yaoi my beloved#bill just wants to be happy but he won’t let himself be happy either#if he can’t be happy no one can#bill cipher#gravity falls#book of bill#stanford pines#billford#I wonder if bill ever looks at the pines and imagines being part of their family#uncle bill who gives the twins candy#does weird arts and crafts with mabel#theorizes on mysteries with dipper#helping Soos make attractions for the mystery shack#plays poker with stan#is ford’s ‘‘friend’’ (husband)#all playing DDMD with all of them and their crazy ideas and math#bill cipher needs a hug
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you guys don’t understand. chandler was my best friend. he was my pal. he was my homeboy. my rotten soldier. he was my sweet cheese. my good-time boy🥺
#and he would want us to laugh and smile when we remember him#in all honesty tho chandler bing was my beloved#i would have done anything for that precious man#i would have given him so many kisses and hugs🥹#he was my favorite almost from the beginning#i will always love you matthew perry#you wonderful wonderful man#friends#f.r.i.e.n.d.s#chandler bing#chandler x monica#matthew perry#source: what we do in the shadows
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"It will just end how it started"
#only friends the series#only friends#ofts#neo trai#mark pakin#i am living for them#glad nick found out in ep 3 and we have now a bunch of episodes of them just making everything worse for each other#nick really worked so hard on keeping boston i want to hug him#his proud smile after jerking boston off ;A;#and he tries to voice when he is uncomfortable and at the same time already realizes that boston is very much not on the same page#and my boy is already escelating listening in on the car sex#possible intended the bug for other reasons but baby - do not put yourself through hearing the whole thing in stereo....you could already#see them from the outside#have to had it to boston: he really nearly doesn't care at all about getting seen#p'jojo getting in his tweet <3#it is very telling that nick clearly knows who boston is but in his mind their encounters are just a tad more romantic with a focus on the#kissing they are doing and not so much the sex itself#fyi: i saved these gif files under the ship name 'tonnic'
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I feel bad for Starlo.
Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:
he does it because Star asks NICELY
clearly jealous
It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...
Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)
What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"
he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much
The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"
Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.
He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:
Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"
If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).
... okay.
#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much#No wonder he cracked#and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man#WAY more than for Ceroba#sorry fox lady#uty#undertale yellow#starlo uty#uty starlo#like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him#what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are#sobbing for star#poor poor man#meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse#she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have#everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover#I'm sorry Starlo#like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life#y'all are reckless too btw#you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish#Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy#wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this#he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself#and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY
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to every woman and to every trans, queer, bipoc, and/or disabled person, i am holding your hand so tightly right now
#★#as much anguish as i have over the results of the election#i was preparing myself for this outcome#i'm not as ready as i want to be truthfully#as a neurodivergent queer woman of color i am quite scared#but to parrot some of the things i've heard people say:#it shouldn't be that simply being yourself is an act of resistance#but it is#it shouldn't be but it is#but it's also all the more reason to stay alive#do everything you can to not just stay alive but to live and to thrive#this world needs queer joy trans joy bipoc joy disabled joy#don't let anyone take it from you so easily#stay safe my friends take care of yourselves always but especially at this time#hug your loved ones and tell them how much you love them#the sun will come up and again tomorrow and again and again
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In My Heart is a Memory (And There You'll Always Be) Part Two
Part One
Steve spends his week in the hospital on oxygen and fighting pneumonia from his bed. A harsh wheezing sound has developed whenever he pushes too hard but Doctor Sattler isn't nearly as concerned as Steve the first time he hears it.
"It shouldn't worsen over time, but if you feel that the wheezing is becoming more frequent or that feeling of an elephant sitting on your chest comes back, you will need to use your new inhaler, today's the perfect day to learn how it works," Doctor Sattler told him with an air of nonchalance that did not match the news.
Two and two made four, the sky was blue, and Steve Harrington would need medication for the rest of his life.
Most of the time Steve sleeps fitfully, dreaming of cold grey water and kind brown eyes, but on the days he has more energy Steve walks around the ward with Claudia in between practising blowing into something called a spirometer.
She tells him it's important to test his level of lung function and how he's improving, it should also help to reduce the wheezing sound when Steve is simply resting. He even gets one to take home with him.
Steve listens as Claudia talks about her own son, he's eight years old and so curious about the world. It's obvious she loves him dearly.
Steve wonders if his own mother ever talks about him like that.
His mother checks in with him twice during the week. His dad has already left for his most recent work trip and Diane is planning to leave as well, at least until Sunday when Steve is expected to be discharged.
“I’ll be gone for five days, but you’ll be here anyway, and they are taking good care of you aren’t they?” she asks, her voice uncharacteristically soft for once as she takes his cheek in her cold hand.
Diane’s fingers brush the oxygen hosing around his cheek, Claudia had called it something weird --a canny-something-or-other.
Diane lets go abruptly as if burned; her nose wrinkling slightly as she rubs her fingers against the palm of her hand. In one fluid motion, she stands up from her seat at the side of his bed and smooths down the blankets as she does so.
Diane meets his gaze once, her pale blue eyes almost seem to look past him, before she hikes her handbag further up her arm.
“I’m leaving the number of the hotel with your Nurse Henry, and you’ll be home before you know it,” she nods with a forced smile and turns on her heel to slip out the door of his room before Steve can even correct her.
He hopes Claudia did get the number, that there isn’t some strange Nurse Henry with more access to his mother than even Steve is allowed.
A small part of himself hopes that Eddie will come visit him.
It’s not likely, Eddie had seemed excited initially about showing him his Dungeons and Dragons book but how would he have any idea Steve would still be here.
That doesn't stop Steve from picturing Eddie yelling to his uncle as he bounds down the hallway, ‘Come on old man, Steve’s room’s gotta be here somewhere!’
But Eddie never materialises down the hall, armed with his players book or tales of dragons and knights.
Steve takes it in stride as much as he can.
The days blend together the longer he stays, but it isn't as though Steve has no one to talk to.
He asks Claudia more about her son and listens to the jokes the orderlies tell him when they come by with meals. Even Doctor Sattler stops by to check the machines by his bed and to watch him blow into the Spirometer.
It’s fine.
Claudia gives him a long hug the day he's discharged. Steve isn't sure she's supposed to by the exasperated look Doctor Sattler gives her, but he says nothing and busies himself with writing something out on a small notepad.
"You be careful sweetheart, use your spirometer to practice and keep your inhaler on you at all times".
She sweeps his hair away from his face and squeezes his shoulder briefly before giving him the barest of pushes towards his mother who stands by the door.
Doctor Sattler hands Diane the two papers he's written out, "you'll have to fill these prescriptions, he'll need both of them before you head home".
Diane nods and breathes out a clipped thank you before ushering Steve to the doors, he tries to turn to wave only for his mother to grip his shoulder firmly and walk him out.
He catches what he thinks may be concern in Claudia's eyes before the automatic doors close behind them and the familiar jingle of his mothers keys to the maroon beemer fills the air.
"We'll stop at Mevalds, you can wait in the car," Diane says as she opens the driver's side door and gets in. Steve hurriedly opens his own door as the engine starts, a small part of him wonders if she would leave him if he took any longer.
He closes the passenger door behind him, it's heavier than he remembers and a harsh wheeze fills the car as Steve breathes in slowly to halt the stuttering of his chest.
He buckles in and looks up to find his mother watching him carefully.
"Perhaps we should wait another week for you to go back to school," she hums, it's a voice she uses when thinking aloud but every instance of it usually happens when that thinking is about Steve.
"Why?" He asks as they pull onto the main road.
"You're making that awful noise," Diane says simply, "we should wait for it to stop, it will be distracting to your classmates".
A deep ache that has nothing to do with his lungs builds in his chest. He hadn't thought the sound was that noticeable.
None of the other nurses or orderlies seemed to care about the new noise he made, or if they did they never said anything. Steve had been the one to ask about it, concerned that he was the only one hearing it.
"Doctor Sattler said it should get better, but it won't go away," Steve argues with narrowed eyes, he crosses his arms over his chest and looks away towards the passenger window.
He hears Diane sigh as she signals to pull into the parking lot of Mevalds.
She turns off the engine and reaches into the back seat for her purse, leaning her hand against Steve's seat for balance.
Diane stops with her hand on the door handle, pausing as she turns to face him fully.
"I'm just looking out for you," Diane says softly, "the other children will notice eventually and the world isn't kind to people who are different Steven".
She gets out of the car, letting the words hang in the air. He watches her go into the store, already knowing he's lost.
***
Steve's teachers welcome him back with little to no fanfare, Ms. Cuttler, the history teacher, even goes so far as to reprimand him for missing two whole weeks in front of the class.
Steve doesn't need detention for 'mouthing off' on his first day back, no matter how unfair she's being. He manages to take his seat without speaking; he can't quite hide the angry red flush staining his cheeks though.
Lunch is what Steve is looking forward to, he just has to make it to lunch, he can keep his head down until then.
Steve's last morning class is science.
It's not his favourite class, but Mr. Clarke at least tries to keep it interesting for them, and he's always nice. Giving extensions on homework, half marks on tests rather than zeros with little comments in blue ink saying, 'I see where you were going with this, you almost got it!'
As soon as the bell rings, Steve grabs his backpack and books, uncaring of the homework instructions Mr. Clarke tries to yell over the clamouring kids and the last few notes of the bell.
"Oh Steve, you gotta sec?"
It takes every fibre of Steve's being not to just bolt from the room with the rest of the class, pretend he didn't hear.
It's your lungs that are screwed up now, not your ears, he thinks bitterly as he turns towards the front of the room where Mr. Clarke stands with a stack of xeroxed paper.
"Here's the homework you missed, if you can have it done for next week I think that'll keep you on track," he says with a smile that quirks his moustache.
Steve gives him a brief smile as he takes the stack of papers, "thanks, yeah I'll have it done by then," he tries for a grin, wincing at the raised eyebrow Mr. Clark gives him.
They both know it will be late.
Steve turns to leave again, with a forced half smile, but stops as Mr. Clarke clears his throat.
"They don't give us a lot of information about absences," he gives Steve a long look, "so all I'm going to say is if you want to chat, about anything, even if it's just homework, my door is open".
Steve nods as Mr. Clarke gives him a kind half smile, patient like the ones Dr. Sattler or Claudia would give him after explaining how something worked.
It's not something most adults put a lot of effort into, especially for Steve, writing him off if he doesn't understand something the first time it's explained.
It's certainly not something his parents do for him.
"Sure Mr. Clarke," Steve mumbles as he tucks the papers into the textbook in his arms.
His teacher nods once and clears his throat awkwardly, gesturing towards the door, "Alright, you better get going," Mr Clarke says, "it's pizza day and I guarantee you the pepperoni is pretty much done at this point".
Steve snorts and takes a step back, "later Mr. Clarke," he calls over his shoulder as he makes his way past the empty desks and into the hallway, letting himself be guided by the stream of kids heading towards the cafeteria.
With the Hawkins Middle and High Schools being the only two secondary schools in the county, the buildings were naturally massive to accommodate all of the children and teens they housed on any given day during the school year.
The cafeteria was no exception.
Finding somewhere to sit was almost always impossible if you ran late to lunch, most students would give up trying to find a table and would end up settling by their lockers or sitting outside in the warmer months, but Steve was on a mission this time.
He looks around the busy room with his lunch tray, head on a swivel as he searches for a mop of curly brown hair. Eddie said he could sit at his table but he hadn't mentioned which one that was.
Steve walks along the wall, eyes scanning the tables, he begins to wonder if he had the wrong lunch period after all.
"I'm telling you, a beholder is the worst thing you could run into in a Dungeon, hands down--"
Steve perks up at the voice, fairly certain he knows who it belongs to.
The relief is palpable as he continues forward, following the voice. A small part of Steve had begun to wonder if Eddie even went to his school, or if his muddled water logged brain had dreamed that up entirely.
He finally spots Eddie at a table against the far back wall and has to stop himself from cheering as he makes a beeline for them, albeit more slowly than he would prefer. He's still getting winded easily and doesn't want to have to break out the inhaler the doctor gave him just yet.
There are two other boy's that Eddie is talking animatedly to, his hands gesturing wildly with a broad grin on his face.
Eddie spots him mid sentence and the effect is instant, his face lights up as he smiles and starts to wave before halting abruptly, a strange look passing over his face.
"Hey!" Steve smiles, slightly uncertain now that Eddie's face has fallen into something unreadable. The other two boys at the table have turned to face him, their eyes scanning Steve up and down.
The kid sitting closest to Steve, a black boy with braces and a t-shirt with something called Queen on the chest, Steve feels a spark of recognition at the name and makes a note to ask him about it later. He gives Steve a small polite smile which makes him feel slightly less nervous.
The other boy sitting closest to Eddie eyes Steve somewhat warily, he's wearing a Hawkins Middle school shirt, thick glasses with tape around the frame, and wavy brown hair that isn't as long as Eddie's but longer than Steve's mother would ever allow.
They all stare at Steve for what feels like an eternity before he clears his throat awkwardly.
"Um, my name is Steve--" he starts to say, reaching out a hand to the closest boy before Eddie stands up from the table.
"Where were you?" Eddie says, uncaring of the sudden climb in volume or the heads that turn their way.
Steve ignores the faces turned their way and takes another step forward towards the table, a small nervous laugh bubbles up as he moves, “I was sick, remember?"
Eddie frowns, his eyes dart from Steve to the other boy directly in front of him, closest to where Steve is standing.
"I wanted to show you my book two weeks ago," Eddie folds his arms over his chest now, frowning slightly, "Ms. Allen confiscated it," he mutters darkly.
Steve winces at the tone and brings his arms around himself, taking a step back. A small part of him curses his decision to stay home another week to let his breathing find some semblance of normal.
The teen closest to Steve rolls his eyes, "if it wasn't the handbook, it woulda been something else Ed, you know Allen's been looking for a reason to punish us since you told her that you got more out of Gary Gygax than anything Mark Twain ever wrote --plus there's a literal demon on the cover,” he says with a wry grin.
"I'm Jeff," he says with a wave before pointing to the other kid at the table, "that's Bobby, and it seems like you already know Eddie?"
Steve gives Jeff a small, thankful, smile and takes a step closer, "yeah, it's a bit of a long story--"
"A heroic tale of rescue more like!" Eddie cuts in, the familiar energy fills Steve with relief as he launches into the story.
Jeff rolls his eyes again and shoots Steve an exasperated look before patting the bench next to him, an official invitation.
Steve tries to play off the wide grin that threatens to take over his face and takes a seat next to Jeff, setting down his lunch tray with a clatter.
"So,” Eddie sits up slightly, bringing his leg up onto the table bench to curl up underneath himself, “Uncle Wayne and I were fishing, right?"
"Fishing?" Bobby cuts in with a laugh, wrinkling his nose as he looks Eddie up and down, "you?"
"Yeah fishing, not all of us can just go to the grocery store whenever we want," Eddie huffs impatiently as his ears begin to redden, he waves his hands, "anyway".
"Instead of a trout we managed to catch something a little stranger,” he grins at Steve, “he was all caught up in some old fishing line or something and--hey, you never told us why you were out on the lake by yourself?”
Three sets of eyes turn to stare for a beat though Bobby loses interest fairly quickly, averting his eyes back to the open milk carton on his own orange lunch tray.
Steve clears his throat, unsure just how to explain his thought process that morning.
He just had to get out of the house, he couldn’t sit there any longer waiting for his dad to finally leave--
“Well?” Eddie prompts again, the smallest of frowns pulls at his expression before Jeff snorts.
"This is not very heroic so far man, where are the X-Men, the laser battles, come on dude," Jeff grins as Eddie sputters and launches into a rant about comic books that Bobby seems to perk up at, his attention switching from the lunch tray to Eddie.
Steve breathes out a sigh of relief as the attention moves away from him.
"You don't need lasers or special powers for hero stories, Tolkien didn't need idiots in spandex, he just needed a Hobbit and a ring and made a fucking masterpiece," Eddie
"Are you seriously comparing yourself to Tolkien right now?" Jeff asks with a knowing smirk, it grows wider as Bobby laughs.
"Who's Tolkien?" Steve says, it's not a name he's ever heard before, though they must be some kind of storyteller. Was there a new book assigned while Steve was away recovering?
Eddie blanches for a second in surprise before his face lights up, he waves his hands at the chorus of groans from both Jeff and Bobby and cackles, "Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, we have so much to teach you!"
***
As the school year comes to a close, Steve finds himself looking forward to the summer for the first time in his life.
Summer for Steve is normally lonely.
He spends his time looking for ways to avoid his house, counting down the days when he can go back to school. Even sitting through class or trying out for the intramural leagues is better than the monotony of summer.
At least during school he had people to talk to.
But this summer is different.
Steve, Jeff, Eddie, and Bobby get on like a house of fire, where one of the boys is, the other three are never far behind.
They teach Steve about Dungeons and Dragons, Tolkien and the one ring --the book certainly reads like some of the books they had assigned in class, but Eddie and Jeff looked so excited the day Steve brought it home from the library, he couldn’t disappoint them.
In turn, Steve introduces the other boys to the pool, inviting the three of them to the Harrington house on a scorching June day.
“No way,” Bobby whispers as they reach the driveway, Jeff’s mouth drops into a little ‘O’ shape while Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise before his expression shutters.
“You’re kidding right?” Jeff asks with a laugh in his voice, “seriously, where’s your moat man?”
Steve reaches out to push Jeff’s shoulder as Bobby laughs, “shut up, it's not that bad--”
“No? Are you going to bring out a unicorn next? What else are you hiding in there?” Bobby scoffs as he takes a hesitant steps towards the edge of the driveway, as though worried the ground would fall out from underneath him at any moment.
“Oh just wait,” Steve says, biting his lip to keep his grin in check, it falters slightly at the pinched expression on Eddie’s face, the way his eyes flick from the house to Steve, before eventually landing on their feet.
Steve opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong but he’s forced to whirl around to keep his footing as Bobby drags him up the drive, “Steve, if you do actually have a horse in there, I will still be very impressed”.
While it may not be a unicorn, Steve knows he has one other ace up his sleeve as he presents them with the crown jewel of the Harrington house, the Atari.
“Oh my god!” Bobby crows as he jumps off the last step of the basement and races towards the television.
“You have one of these!” he hisses incredulously, snatching the attached joystick from its resting place on the top, Steve winces as the cord pulls slightly from Bobby’s exuberance.
“I mean, it’s my dads, not mine,” Steve shrugs, he puts his hands in his jeans pockets and turns back to Jeff and Eddie, “but we can play it, he’s not home”.
Diane argues the day his father brings the machine home.
It must stay in the basement, out of sight, determining that something so hideous has no place in their well decorated living room.
Ignoring the fact that the only television in the house was in the basement, Diane insists on keeping the rest of the house as pristine as Good Housekeeping has taught her.
Richard simply rolls his eyes at his wife, ‘It’s not like it matters Diane, one of the investors thinks he’s being cute, like any son of mine would waste his time with one of these, right Steven?’
Steve nods, content to keep his head down, focused on his homework, not to make waves.
‘Course dad, computer games are for losers,’ the words come easily, he’s heard them before. He flinches as a heavy hand comes down on his shoulder and squeezes lightly.
‘God damn right’.
‘Why are we even keeping it then?’ Diane asks sharply, her tone cool as she follows him down the stairs.
Steve trails after them to the landing; he can still hear from the wary distance he keeps while his parents continue to talk.
"Allan and the rest of the partners are coming in two weeks for drinks, and I’m not letting that prick get one over on me”.
Diane is quiet for a beat.
Steve tilts his ear to listen intently. He knows that silence. It's something his mother usually employs while calculating all options before speaking carefully.
‘Fine, I suppose the dust will collect best down here,” Steve can almost hear the sneer that pulls at his mothers mouth as she speaks.
‘Atta girl,’ Richard says quietly, almost fondly.
Jeff raises an eyebrow as he comes to stand beside Steve, “you can’t play it if your dad’s home?”
Steve falters for a second, scrambling for something to say.
Bobby scoffs by the television, still inspecting the machine, "you know how much one of these things costs? If we had one, my dad would flip if I so much as looked at it”.
Steve settles for shrugging with a mild smile, infinitely grateful for Bobby's ability to blurt out the first thing he thinks in any given situation.
If Jeff questions it, he doesn't say anything, and instead moves to join Bobby where he crouched on the floor.
Steve turns back to find where Eddie went only to find him frozen on the last stair still.
His eyes seem to trace over the room, an unreadable expression on his face, it contorts into something sour before smoothing as his gaze eventually lands on Steve.
"Didn't know we pulled a rich kid outta the lake," Eddie says after a beat, finally walking further into the room, his arms crossed tightly over his stomach.
"I guess," Steve says weakly as Eddie nods and moves towards where Jeff is kneeling beside Bobby with one of the game cartridges in his hands.
A spark of annoyance crackles through Steve, licking the inside of his ribcage. If Eddie isn’t interested in playing, he just has to say so, they can do something else - work on their character sheets, go outside. The other day Eddie showed them all the best spot by the quarry for throwing rocks so that the sound seemed to echo for miles as it hit the water. They could easily go, right now.
They aren’t supposed to be touching this anyway, it’s not like it’s a big deal. It’s not.
Steve knows the others don’t know how much trouble he could get into for this, the risk he’s taking for even showing it to them, for having kids over unsupervised, uninvited.
"Well, does that thing play Asteroids or what?" Eddie asks abruptly, interrupting Steve’s train of thought.
He nods, quietly tamping down the last fleeting sense of irritation and walks over to the shelf where the rest of the games were dumped, wincing at the impressed chorus of whoops that Jeff and Bobby let out.
It only serves to accentuate the brooding silence that has followed Eddie all morning, since they walked over the threshold of Steve’s front door.
Jeff and Bobby take turns playing the rest of the afternoon. Steve defers to them, content to simply watch his friends try out the games. They bicker back and forth, making noises at key moments to try and break each other's concentration, Steve laughs brightly as Bobby manages to make Jeff crash for the fourth time in a row by simply imitating Rod Stewart.
“If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, tell me so!” Bobby croons, making his voice older and raspy as he leans close enough for Jeff to twist his head away.
“Get outta here Bobby-- oh you sonovabitch!”
Bobby cheers, lifting his clasped hands above his head, “and the crowd goes wild, what do ya say, Jeff, best two out of three?”
Jeff flops backwards onto the carpet, pretending to catch an invisible dagger to the chest, “mark my words, if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine!”
He rolls his head to the side and reaches out, pointing towards Steve with a cry, “Avenge me!”
Steve laughs long and loud as Jeff croaks and groans and finally sticks his tongue out of the side of his mouth with a low hissing sigh as he finally pretends to die on the carpet of Steve’s basement.
“So, what say you, Steve?” Bobby croaks as he lifts one hand to cover his mouth, and the other to hold out the abandoned joystick as he breathes out heavily, “do you dare take up the saber?”
Steve has no clue what they’re doing, a joke from something he’s sure, but he schools his face into something serious, and takes the joystick with a grave nod.
“For Jeff!” Steve cries as the digital melody fills the air.
Finally, Steve lets himself bask in the warmth and friendship that has surrounded him for the last few months, the normal chill of the Harrington home finally absent as Bobby begins to cheer while also doing his damndest to distract Steve.
Jeff finally sits up with another hiss, “I LIVE, to see Steve beat your sorry ass Bobby!”
He claps his hand on Steve's shoulder with a grin, “you got this!”
It isn’t until a throat clears behind them that the three boys notice Eddie hasn’t said a word for the last ten minutes.
He’s standing now, backpack slung over his shoulder --when did he go upstairs?
“It’s late,” Eddie mumbles quietly, “Wayne will want me home for supper soon”.
The words seem to break the spell that has fallen over the other two boys and they both stand as if summoned from their seats on the floor.
Steve can only sit and watch as Jeff and Bobby move towards Eddie, albeit reluctantly.
Jeff stretches out, raising his arms above his head, “yeah, I should probably go too,” he groans out as he drops his arms back at his sides.
“Thanks for the game dude,” Bobby says with a shrug, though he looks decidedly more annoyed at the interruption than Jeff, “beats trying to escape the heat in the creek anyway”.
Jeff rolls his eyes, “It also beats shelling out quarters at the arcade on 4th Bobby, this was seriously really cool man”.
Steve grins at the pair of them before turning towards Eddie who glares at the floor in silence until Jeff elbows him.
Eddie breathes out loudly through his nose, “yeah it was cool, but next time we should go over your characters a bit more, especially if you guys are going to survive the next encounter I designed”.
Bobby scoffs as he grabs his own messenger bag from the bottom of the stairs, “well I’m not going back to the library, Mrs. Depencier gives me the creeps”.
“The library is the only place with enough space,” Eddie argues as he turns and makes his way up the stairs.
Steve feels the words lift him up, this is his chance, he takes a step towards the other teens, “I could host?”
Jeff and Bobby stop, turning back towards Steve with excitement in their gazes. Jeff seems to hesitate though, turning back to back to Eddie whose face is hidden by the edge of the staircase, Steve can only make out the bottom on his legs from where he’s standing.
He walks forward to the bottom of the staircase and stops short of taking the first step, “my parents aren’t home for the next four weeks so I can have you guys over, no problem”.
Bobby punches his fists into the air, "Yes! Oh my god, huge house, no parents?" Bobby jumps down the last two stairs again and nearly tackles Steve, "this is perfect!"
Perfect, is…certainly a word for it, not necessarily the one Steve would use, but Bobby wasn't here at night.
Not when the glow of the pool would cast eerie shadows along the treeline that surrounded the Harrington backyard. Steve never felt comfortable sitting outside by himself once the sun went down, even now in middle school.
All it took was one snapped branch in the dark or one flicker of shining eyes for him to race back into the kitchen, slamming the sliding door shut behind him.
The locked door never really feeling like enough by himself.
"Four weeks?" Eddie says quietly as he takes a step down, his expression seems pained though Steve can't imagine why.
"I know it's not that long," Steve shrugs, "but we could do it in an afternoon right?"
Jeff's eyebrows rise, cutting shallow creases across his forehead, he and Eddie look at one another, seemingly having some kind of silent conversation before they both turn back to Steve at the same time.
"I need three days to finish it up, but that means we can meet in between to finish your characters," Eddie offers, the words slowly break the strange sudden quiet that has fallen over the basement.
"Tomorrow?" Steve asks tentatively,
"I'll be here, and hey if they don't come," Bobby says with a wry grin as he elbows Steve, "then I'll kick your ass at Asteroids!"
"We'll be here jackass," Jeff scoffs as Eddie nods silently.
He has a strange look on his face that Steve can't quite place, but at least he doesn't look annoyed anymore.
"Tomorrow then," Eddie confirms, grinning as Bobby blurts out a loud, 'hell yeah' as Jeff rolls his eyes once more.
The boys do eventually make their way upstairs, though at a snail's pace as the strange tension from earlier fades away.
Steve walks them all to the door and watches as they make their way down the long drive, taking turns waving as their voices fade into the distance.
Steve swallows hard as he closes the front door, trying not to think too hard about how many hours until he'll hear his friends voices again.
Permanent Tag List: @eriquin @luvinthefreaks @cinnamon-mushroomabomination
#in my heart is a memory and here you'll always be#childhood friends au#afewproblems writes#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#jeff#baby hellfire#we have a cameo from mr clarke#I just want to give them all a hug#instead#I'll put them through the ringer#maybe next post we will do the full prompt reveal#sorry this took so long#eddie is a task master when it comes to dnd but his friends love him for it#cross posted on ao3 as well
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Movie!Tails 🤝 Nine
Getting all 😳😊 when Sonic says that he considers them a friend
#sonic the hedgehog#sontails#sonine#unbreakable bond#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic prime#sonic wachowski#miles nine prower#nine sonic prime#nine the fox#i just be ramblin#If you know you know#The scene with Nine gets me because Sonic is like 'Only a true friend could pull off a save like that'#and Nine STUTTERS. He's like ''Friend? We're f-friends?'' all airy like and smiling like he's not sure he can believe it#And then later Sonic's like 'Mess with my best bud and you get blasted!'#And it's like the first time Sonic's referred to Nine as a best friend of his so Nine gets this soft heartfelt smile like it was touching😭#And then the scene from Sonic movie 2 man#Tails is like 'Do you really mean that? About me being your pal?'#and he places his hand over his own heart and everything‚ smiling like the implication is just touching#and Sonic's like 'Of course‚ buddy' and Tails smiles even bigger and just hugs him#Gaaaaaaaaaah they just they just get me#I spent a lot of time in the S0riku trenches in my youth waxing poetry about Riku’s feelings and like#Nine and movie Tails' reactions to being considered friends or best friends to Sonic speaks to that part of me#(that part of me who used to wax poetry about Riku not being able to believe that Sora still considers him a best friend‚ much less anythin#else he'd want the two of them to be)#And Nine specifically‚ he wants to be someone special and irreplaceable for Sonic. So especially when Sonic calls him 'best bud'‚ I think i#allows him to believe for a moment that his dream is possible and that Sonic would choose to live in a world of their own making with him
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do#she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself#her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be#or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug#and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#furina
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Anything my brain tries to tell me nobody likes me It makes me think 'but no.. Charlie likes me though'. So thank you for being so #1 that even shitty thoughts can't beat the positivity you bring to me <3
Bro I'm gonna fucking cry that's so sweet ;-;
And RIGHT!! You're so cool and funny and nice how could anyone not like you?? You have cool ideas and amazing art and you're so sweet all the time, I couldn't not like you if I tried your brain is right!! (About this one thing, not about the stuff where it makes you feel bad)
#Ask#Pigeonstab#Hugging you hugging you hugging you#I'm really really glad dude <3 the ''nobody likes you'' voice sucks I'm gonna beat it up!!#Also I was telling my friend in work about Coraline today!! :D#I would watch that again it was really good#I need to get fired from my job so I can find a completely legal download of my favourite movie and watch it with you#(If you want to)#But alas. my employment continues 😔 (for now)#But!! Hello!! (>^-^|^-^<) I hope you're doing well
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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vent//
#cw injury#delete later#typing this up before i head to the hospital lol#i got pretty injured yesterday in a way that affects my mobility quite a bit#i'm in a lot of pain and the timing of it is just :(((( i had planned to travel next week and#took time off for the first time i started working and now i don't know if i'll be able to 😭 i can barely cross the room w crutches#i think i don't really know how to seek comfort? when i got injured in the first place these people (strangers) like kept me company for#a bit but they mostly talked among themselves and it was really kind of them 😭 but i felt so distant. and even in the moment i felt like i#was failing them for not being able to engage in the conversation properly#i don't think i really know how to ask for help or how to ask for comfort#i don't know how to bring it up with my friends without like joking about it because 😭 they are my friends and they have their own lives#idk. i feel like i'm so detached from everything right now#i want someone to give me a hug and tell me that i've been doing well 😭 and i#want someone to do mundane things with me to take my mind off the pain#but how do you ask for that :')#i don't know so i am airing it anonymously on my kink blog
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every night i think this is the loneliest i've ever been and every night i get lonelier
#what am i doing wrong in life that my best friends are moving on and i have no one else#never made friends in college never kept in contact with friends from high school#i think i've made friends through work but no one wants to hang out with coworkers outside work anymore#i love my friends online but if i don't hug someone in the next week i fear i'll become despondent#im too weird about intimacy to hook up but i seriously started looking into professional cuddlers 💀#something must change.#i cannot live like this
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if we were mutuals or irls before matt flipped his shit three days ago i am very sorry about what my blog has inadvertently become
#and also please. if we are irls. hmu esp if you'll be at pride on sunday. i need to scream in person#i tried to explain all of this to my therapist who barely knows what an actual pdf is and it was fine but not particularly helpful#i just want to hang out in the sun with my trans friends and hug my trans wife and give and receive care#also @ the people i recognize from automattic interacting with my posts. i hope you're doing okay.#if you need a way to contact me offsite i believe my farewell post has some options or you can ask anyone on my team probably to pass you o#tony muses
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